Dark Herz S11 – They All Died

TPK again. Welp.


  • Hamilton – living tank, 200 kg mutant.
  • Brother Iota – tech priest, using only a nanite cloud
  • Carlsagan – sniper assassin


They gave the decapitated head of the murdered union leader to Duncan, the drug-addicted telepath. He said “wait what, ‘bring me his head’ was not literal, but ok”. He told them the dictator’s army leader wanted to speak with them, and they went to do just that.

After preparing their argument points (that the regime must lower the cost of iridium), they went into the ‘villa’ (that was actually a literal bunker). The army leader asked them how much to buy them out (and thus making them traitors to the Inquisition). Hamilton pushed for 5 million thrones each ( ~33 million dollars times 4 people = 132M usd), and the general said he could offer a spaceship and 16 million total. They refused, and went to speak with the business-mogul dictator himself.

They tried to talk him into lowering his prices, but he was adamant it was a winning gamble in the long run. Then he told them that he had a dead man’s switch on his heart that would detonate 40 planetary-grade nuclear warheads if he died. Then he went to leave the meeting, and Hamilton and Carlsagan brutally murdered him from behind, dealing over twice the amount necessary to instantly kill him.

I guess they just assumed it was a decoy, or he was faking it? I had established that the nukes were real weeks ago, and they could have known about them if they, you know, had looked anywhere for information. But they didn’t check, and just flipped the coin on whether it was real or not, and they lost.

Bailing them out would have been cheating, and therefore I didn’t do it. And while they did try to escape pretty well, they had absolutely ruined that guy’s body, making it harder to keep alive. The complete lack of preparation really didn’t pay off.

Iota realized the dead man’s switch was triggering, but critically failed his nanite use to resusicate the dictator to stop it. A fate point spent later, they were frantically trying to stop the man’s heart for long enough to escape the planet.

They kept giving him bursts of electricity with Iotas nanites, and then with the oscillating defribilator hooked directly into their little plane’s wiring. Then they crashed the plane into the hatch of their spaceships storages, tumbling inside. Iota was knocked unconcious, and the defribilator’s wire tore.

While they tried to wake Iota, they jerry rigged the defribilator again, through a chopped open extension cord. Eventually the pilot critically failed a piloting roll, crashed into a meteor, and after the dictator’s heart finally stopped forever, the dead man’s switch went off.

They were luckily a bit outside the general instant-death gamma burst range. Less luckily, the pilot and the doctor died from radiation damage, and everyone else got really sick. The navigation system and control systems broke from the EMP. While Hamilton died from acute radiation sickness, and Iota wouldn’t wake up again, Carlsagan repaired the control system and accidentally permanently destroyed the navigation system. The last living crew member was executed to conserve oxygen. After going wildly to a random planet they found, Iota woke up. It was uninhabited, and they trekked on after refilling oxygen. The second planet had no atmosphere, and was also uninhabited. After barely reaching a third planet, Carlsagan and Iota both expired from radiation sickness as the oxygen ran out, and the planet was just an empty gas giant. RIP.

This was like the slowest and dumbest TPK I’ve ever seen.

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